My thoughts of why…
Going to food to not feel the anxiety. I feel it in my lower gut. I do well and then get triggered and it feels overwhelming and the situation is out of my control so I eat the food. To have control of something? To do something that will feel good for a moment? To ease the pain I feel? Because that it what I have always done? I am not even sure of the underlying reason. My head knows it is not the smart thing to do and that it is not helping me at all…completely the opposite…it is not a kind thing to do.
Something you said the other day made me wonder. I was in foster care as a baby prior to being adopted. I wonder if every time I had trauma/anxiety if they gave me a bottle to soothe me. There were several babies there and I know I did not get held much, but I wonder if I had a bottle/food connected to this feeling in my stomach? Just something I have been thinking about.