Ask A Coach

Self Worth Lowest of Low

I experienced a high feeling of self confidence recently as we attended a music festival. I was feeling strong, embracing how good it felt with10 lbs off, my new knees were working well, navigating uneven ground, setting up the campsite etc. I was aware of a woman near our campsite, flaunting herself my husbands way. He has always attracted these types and cannot resist the attention. By Saturday night it destroyed my self worth & selfconfidence. When she then my husband left the night tome concert at the same time, I was sure he was wanting to run into her or meet up. This has happened 16 years ago. A lady involved with my youngest sons hockey team, did the samebut it went on the entire season. I was humiliated in front of the other parenta, felt destroyed, I was not enough to keep his attention. I was only good enough at home and to do the work in the barn& on the farmbut not good enough when we went out.
This occurs over & over. When I address it, he ssys I am ridiculous, he is just joking around and having fun. Alwsys the same. I am wrong he is right.
I honedtly have been in so much pain, I seriously just want out. No more pain, how can I get out successfully & never feel pain again. I researched was to have successful suicide and have gone over all the reasons I should and why I should not.
Then I know I need to do more work in this program. I struggled to log in, how to find the modules etc.
Help, I really believe I was born without self worth. I am just not meant to be loved and accepted as I am.


Thank-you for this question as I know that a lot of women can relate to using external proof as their form of feeling self confident. You said at the beginning that you were feeling self confident from the 10 pounds down, the knee working and how you were feeling. Confidence comes from our thoughts about ourselves and we need to believe those thoughts. Right now this confidence is just sprouting. It is not quite as strong as an older tree with the rough bark and deep roots to feel very secure.

First of all you are not wrong to have these thoughts about yourself, your husband and these other women. Your thoughts are yours and they are valid. What feels the worst for you is all of your thoughts about yourself:
– “I was humiliated in front of the other parents,
-felt destroyed,
-I was not enough to keep his attention.
-I was only good enough at home and to do the work in the barn & on the farm but not good enough when we went out.”

These thoughts are what cause so much pain.

Suicide is a serious step and I am here to help you 1-1. Please contact me.

The program is here to help you make a decision that feels like love and that you like your reasons. I am here to help you see everything involved.

Your worth has never been negotiable- it is never on the line. Imagine telling a baby that they aren’t meant to be loved or accepted as they are. NEVER and that is the case for you.

The reason you want out of the relationship is because of all the terrible thoughts and feelings that you keep with you about the relationship.