Ask A Coach

Model response

C: wedding ring
T: It is not ok to wear while dating
F: I wore the ring for support. Support that Brett is always here for me even in death. Now that I’m dating it seems wrong. I believe in karma. The gentleman I’m dating says it has cut him a couple of times. That isn’t the reason but I feel like it is a sign it is time. I’ve been thinking about it. I feel this is all part of me opening up to new things entering my life. Closing one door (Brett will always be apart) and allowing new things to flow in.
A: place ring in drawer
R: I no longer

C: Dating
T: resentful I’m doing this again
F: sad I don’t have Brett. I do like Curtis. He is fun and sweet man. Fear of expressing my feeling. However, if he can’t handle then he is not my guy.
A: over eating and shopping
R: worrying about what hasn’t happenes and gaining weight


In your first model when you have the thought “it is not ok to wear while dating” what is the feeling that thought gives you? is it a feeling of support? I think the thought/feeling need to be clarified/cleaned up a bit. Potentially, a thought of “I wear my ring while dating” might give a feeling of support. Can you come up with several feelings and see if there is one that might fit more closely? or several thoughts and see if there is one that is a little more accurate?
In your second model your thought line has a feeling in it, resentful, so you have a mixed model because your feeling is sad as well as fearful. Are you able to come up with a thought which does not include a feeling & then determine how that thought makes you feel? Or recognize that you have feelings of being sad and resentful and think about what thoughts might be leading you to each of those feelings. If you can spend a bit more time, make sure you have 1 thought (a statement- not a question which does not have a feeling in it “I’m doing this again”) and 1 feeling per thought. Sometimes it is helpful to list all the feelings which may come up & then try to choose 1 which seems to fit most closely.
Hopefully this helps– let us know…