I am having a hard time with my sister in law that is completely controlling until things go her way. It would be simple enough to give in, but it really hurt as a family member who still feels on the outside after 37 years.
Ask A Coach
Inlaws
Answer:
This is a great question and concern. I love that you are aware that she is trying to control things. Why do you think she is this way? People who tend to be controlling are this way because they don’t feel like they have control of their own life.
What would it be like to take what she wants into consideration and then decide for yourself what would work best for you and your family.
I am interested in how you feel like an outsider after 37 years of being part of the family. Belonging comes from what you think about yourself in the family. Even if family members say that you belong, you won’t ever believe them if you don’t accept the feeling of belonging.
It looks like there are two situations happening right now:
1. a sister in law who feels out of control so she is always trying to control everything and then the family bends to her will
2. you don’t feel like you belong so no matter what others say you won’t ever belong until you believe you belong
What do you think of these two different situations? Can you see it?
What one would you like to address first? You can address it in Ask A Coach or bring it to the group calls and I can help you walk through it.