Ask A Coach

Dealing with expectations

How do I deal with expectations not being met?

Long story short I had a very busy work weekend of being called in frequently. I knew this upcoming week was going to be very busy as well. I cleaned (clean tidy home helps me keep a clear head) and did everything I could to prep and prepare myself for the upcoming weekend and work week. I got home from a long 6 hour case Sunday afternoon and it seemed like all the hardwork I had done was completely undone. Chores that are my husband’s responsibility weren’t done because he was playing computer games. Items weren’t put away. Dirty dishes everywhere, mail still not been gone through even though I asked him numerous times to please take care of it, etc.. Needless to say I had words which ended in an argument. I know my unintentional thought model isn’t working. But I also don’t think it’s loving myself to just pile on more tasks/ more expectations of myself by doing someone’s tasks/ chores for them. I’m trying to change my thoughts/ reactions but I am having a hard time with an intentional model and desk with expectations. Thanks you!


I saw that we coached on this in the call but see that it was not responded to here.

C- house does not look in desired fashion
T- My husband is not pulling his weight around the house
F- frustrated
A- feel like I have to do everything
-look at all the things that he didn’t do
-look at all the things that I have to do
-don’t take a step back and decide what I want
-be objective about the situation
-notice the patterns
R- the same argument happens without ever getting resolved

As you see this version of the model, why do you think that you keep having this thought and not just sit with frustrated?

This is just one way to look at the situation.