I’m having big emotions. my stomach is turning. There big things happening in my life and I should be happy. Im worried instead and stressing about what might happen.
1) I have White Coat Ceremony next week. I’m concern about how I will interact with my mom. I concern about my feelings about the day. Brett and I had plans for this big day. These plans will be minus him. I want to stay strong and not be sad on this day because it is not my day. It is Jonathan’s day and i want them to have the best day (new pronoun request per my son).
2) I took off my ring. It felt wrong to wear while dating. I feel ok about not wearing it although, i do reach for it now and then as if it were on my hand. It sounds like I’m dating many people well it is just one person. That brings me to 3
3) How do you know how much to share with a person. Big brain says share what I want and if he can’t handle it he is not my guy and that is ok. Little brain says keep your mouth shut. I don’t want to be someone I’m not. I know what I want and should not settle for less and I’m not. But, this dating things has me in knots. I am a bit resentful that I’m starting over. I’m trying to look for the bright side and not turn to food or shopping.